Somebody I know once said that they found querying people the most painful part of the writing process. And I knew exactly where they were coming from. However, when it comes to painful, I still reckon editing takes the cake. But that's just my phony opinion. Querying can be pretty bad.
 Here are some hints on how to query a literary agent. Next week, I'll post a copy of my query letter from two years ago, which got me an international literary agency. Hopefully all of this helps.


 1. Research your agency.


 First of all, categorise your book. Figure out what genre it falls into, what age your readers will be, and in what countries you want it represented. Then use those things to help you research what agencies you should apply to. There's absolutely no point in a historical novelist querying an agency that deals largely with romance. Stick with what works, and save yourself the bother. Look at the website thoroughly. If they say they're not taking on any more people at the moment, do not send out a query letter. You'll probably ruin your chances with them for good. Also, check to see whose email address you've got. It's best to put a name at the top of the email. It just shows the agent that you've been thorough, and that you know what you're doing. An impersonal "to whom it concerns" or "dear Sir/Madam" reads like a scam.


 2. Be straight to the point.


 There's no point in trying to impress a literary agent. That probably sounds really depressing, but it's true. Just treat it like a business transaction. Don't talk about your longing to work creatively and spread your wings; don't talk about the fact that you've been writing since you were twelve; don't mention your desire to change the world with the power of language, etc ... Just keep it simple. 
 After addressing the literary agent, introduce yourself as quickly as possible. Do not write your age. Do not reel off all your qualifications. The publishing industry is very seldom interested in copious qualifications - even if you've done a lot of study involving creative writing. Literary agents want to know two things: whether you have experience in the writing industry, and whether your writing has merit. That's it. That's all.
  Do not talk about your background and all your side interests. If you're writing a book about American colonisation, and your great-grandfather left behind a diary, you are justified in mentioning a family member and an interest in history. Otherwise, do not bother. 
 After writing very briefly about yourself, start talking about your book. Literary agents will always want a synopsis. It shouldn't be super long. Don't include minor characters and sub plots. You can mention them in passing if you have time and space, but don't go into them in detail. Don't do a cliff hanger in the synopsis. There are no secrets between the literary agent and the client. Your agent is not your reader. If you stop with a cliff hanger, the agent may think you ran out of ideas. Write the full plot synopsis in as straightforward a manner as you can. Don't include abstracts. Sentences such as "this book is about the power of love" or "this novel details the joy of inner peace" or "this story is about joy and grace" are instant turn-offs.


 3. Include the important details.


 Check: have you included the word count? Target audience (including specific ages)? Genre? Have you mentioned any editing or manuscript assessing that the book has undergone? Agents always like to know if you've had some experienced eyes look at your work.


 These are three things that will help you as your write query letters to literary agents. Similar rules work when writing queries to publishers. But if you get a literary agent, then you won't have to send out piles of queries to publishers, because the agent takes care of that for you. Next week I'll publish my successful query letter on this website. Happy querying! 

November: it's the author's month of madness - if you're one of those people who subscribes to the idea that writing a 50,000 word novel in thirty days is a good thing. I've known a few people who have done NaNoWriMo in the past, and it's certainly four weeks of "unending mental strain and anguish", to quote Braden Russell. And like Braden Russell (at this point in time anyway), I have never honestly done NaNoWriMo. Sure, this month I'm writing a book. I'm not sure I'll finish it in a month, but it's more than likely that fifty thousand words of labour will be the result. It's 20,000 words long already. But I do have to take my hat off to those authors who can actually write the whole novel in that time. I can't put together a plot over a month. It would do my head in. To condense everything I would like to say into 50,000 words would be a nightmare too. Normally, my fantasy fiction novels are 70,000 words or over. I'm still not sure if this is a good thing.

But my point is: I've never really had to do NaNoWriMo. Again, I'm not fully sure this is a good thing. I'm maniacally dedicated (or just maniacal), and so I've never had an issue finishing a book quickly. I spent a little over two months on my last novel, and it wound up at a freakish 160,000 words. That's no brag though. I'm certain a great many of those words are utter rubbish. Writing the book is not the tough part. It's the editing that will kill you.

 But writing is a fantastic start.

 Which is why NanNoWriMo exists.

 NanNoWriMo is a chance for authors all over the world to egg themselves on to finishing a novel within a set time period. The point of the season is to get authors to finish writing their books, rather than tossing them aside when they're halfway through. There are a number of useful principles an author can draw from the concept of NaNoWriMo, so that any or every month can be this ... er, productive. Or horrific. However you see it.

 1. Focus.

 Focus is the writer's friend. When you have a deadline, you're less likely to go surfing the internet or checking your feeds on social media. Also, you're way less likely to start a new project when you're only a third of the way into your first. Focus means that you can't think of anything else. It takes up a great deal of your thought life, and the most important thing is to get it out - so that your brain doesn't feel like it's going to blow up. It's kind of like memorising "The Highwayman", by Alfred Noyes. Or maybe more like "Paradise Lost", by John Milton. You have to get it out before you forget it; it's weighing on you. Now is the time.

 2. Companionship.

 Writers are very lonely creatures, and one of the greatest things about NaNoWriMo is that people all over the place (whom you've "met" virtually on social media sites) are doing the same thing as you. It's like running a marathon with a whole lot of other people, rather than running a marathon on your own while the audience throws tomatoes. 

 3. Goals.

 I've half covered this in the "Focus" section, but I felt it was important to write about separately too. NaNoWriMo gives you a deadline, but that also means that you start thinking in smaller goals and time frames, to make everything more manageable. It's like what Braden says above ("If I were you, I would go for the seconds. There's a lot more of them"). You start thinking like this: "17,250 words a week; approximately 2,400 words a day" ... I always take the Sunday off, because I'm a Christian. So that puts me up to about 3,000 words a day, six days of the week. But you get the idea. Each day, you have a goal of how much you want to do. You have direction.

 So here's how we can learn from NaNoWriMo and get our books written without it! Focus: shut down the internet - even switch it off if you don't need it for research. Give yourself a deadline. Companionship: find other writers that you can contact for encouragement and help. Goals: have a daily goal to help yourself get through it. Don't let yourself eat chocolate, drink coffee, watch TV, or whatever until you've done what you need to do.

 And then every month can be a NaNoWriMo. Erm ... great thought, right?