Nothing in the publishing world goes fast, but that said, the re-release for Rafen is rolling around slowly but surely. In the meantime, after exploring two of the main themes in the book, I thought I'd mention my influences.

I've been asked about my influences a lot, sometimes especially by those who disagree with the content of the book, saying it's too "fantastical" or too "violent". Interestingly, I read very little fantasy fiction myself, meaning that the vast majority of what I've written must either come from the few fantasy books I have read (and be extremely plagiarized) or it is highly original. Otherwise, perhaps, there is a third option, and one seldom considered: I've been inspired by life itself. There are events in life that sometimes feel so surreal that one supposes they might be fantasy: something incredibly wonderful or something unspeakably bad. I believe that the fantasy elements in my work derive from all three of these concepts, so some extent. I am hoping, of course, more is original than hackneyed. 

Admittedly, my tone of writing and my characterization have largely been inspired by classic works. Things like the following:

The Forsyte Saga
Jude the Obscure, The Major of Casterbridge
Hamlet, Macbeth
The Lord of the Rings
Katherine Mansfield's complete works
C. S. Lewis' brilliant theological works
And more recently A Severe Mercy


It would be careless of me to omit the Bible, which of course has been hugely influential, especially the Psalms. My main character Rafen was more or less inspired by the Biblical figure David. 
Certainly, one thing I was told as a child was to read plenty of fantasy and fairy tales, to ensure that I was well-versed in my genre and could write it proficiently. Increasingly, as I've watched the genre being overwhelmed by twenty-first century tropes, I've moved towards the second piece of advice I was given, which was: "Read widely, read everything." I don't read as widely as I should, but I do seek to read works of quality whatever genre they might be. As an author, be careful not to read too much of your genre. You will become merely a product of its age and miss authenticity altogether. Surround yourself with all sorts of literature, and don't limit it to that. Look long and hard at the beautiful and the illuminating, whether it be paintings, nature, music, or books.
​May your journey be a thrilling one.

At this stage, I'm fairly certain that the re-release of my first book Rafen will be happening in the near future (before August of this year - or as soon as possible, I believe). In the meantime, I've been working on two other projects, one of which I have finished. However, this does mean I have neglected my blog!

Whatever I write, I always love to explore big themes. Life itself is complex, and it inspires big questions. My writing has often been a subconscious effort to process some of the things I have struggled to understand about the world around me. One such thing has been freedom.
Freedom. It's the word that every child and teenager obsesses over to some extent. In our youth, we all fantasise about freedom from our teachers, our parents, the authorities above us, and so on. Teenagers get to an age where they feel life would be so much better if only they could make their own decisions without reference to anybody.

I certainly felt this way as a child and teenager. There were other questions I asked as well, however. Questions that related to me personally. Could one ever be free of the past? Of things and events one was ashamed of? Could one ever shed one's "history" and embrace the future without any such burdens?

As these questions were somewhat all-consuming for me at the time, they made their way into Rafen in some shape or form. Rafen is enslaved to the tyrant King Talmon in Tarhia. He has no personal freedom, and even his body is just a tool for somebody else's work. Talmon's ownership over Rafen is seen vividly in several ways.

1. Rafen has a number, not a name - 237. He was not even allowed to know his name.
2. Rafen is not allowed to learn the Tongue, the language of the free world beyond Tarhia. Tarhian ties him to a people in bondage and chains him to his master.
3. Rafen's basic living conditions are controlled. He is imprisoned in a cell in isolation and thus is fenced off from any other influences (or so Talmon thinks). His food and drink are rationed, as are his clothes. He has no control even over his own personal hygiene.

After King Talmon had killed his parents, Rafen had lived in a cell from age two upward, and at four they had branded 237 on his ankle and forced him to work in the coal mine... And so he had lived: a little underground animal who did as he was told. Yet he itched. He shouldn’t have expected more, but he did.


According to the three facets of Rafen's slavery above, Rafen's being free would consist of his having an identity, having knowledge of the outside world that would allow him to move about in it, and having control of his own living conditions. Rafen attains most of these things and yet still doesn't feel free. His past haunts him, and he cannot make peace with it. As a result, he feels threatened wherever he goes, certain that he will be hurt or dragged back into slavery some way. 

After all, the great cell was wider than four walls. It was seen in the ghostly spies lingering in the places of freedom, in the sidelong looks strangers gave him; its ceiling was the suspicion in his mind, the memories that wouldn’t die, the smiles that never quite reached his eyes and failed to warm his heart.
Tarhia would always win in the end.

Did I even answer my own questions with this book? Or did I remain forever a cynic? The above words certainly seem incredibly cynical.
It turns out within the space of half a night that Rafen's perspective has changed, because he has met the Phoenix Zion. The response to my deepest soul searching was this: we can't be free unless we are radically and powerfully redefined. Without a divine Creator to rename us and seal our identities, we remain forever enslaved and easily manipulated. 

He decided he wouldn’t be afraid. He raised his hand to the feather above his heart. He was the Fledgling.

Leading up to the mysterious re-release date of Rafen, I thought it would be fitting to write about a few of the themes that I intentionally put into my books. I know that sometimes my "themes" are misconstrued to be witchery. Today, I'd like to talk about what I actually intended to go into my novels - in particular, book one: Rafen. Doubtless when I was seventeen, writing the final draft of this book which would one day be published roughly in that state, I thought I was being very clever and political and deep. Perhaps I was. More likely not. Anyway, to find out, read on.

One of the main themes that I wrote about in this book was identity. Identity could be the watch word of modern day western society. Interestingly enough, it is often the invisible motivator for many fads, movements, and social revolutions. Being lesbian or gay is a way of affirming one's identity. Being transgender is yet another way. A climate change activist may, by defining themselves as such, find meaning and purpose in their life. What job we have and how successful we are is a further measure of identity (although it seems that nothing can trump sexuality, which to my mind remains the greatest factor by which western society appears to define themselves and their identities). 

The child Rafen begins the book with no identity. He dreams of running for a phoenix feather, which he wants although he doesn't know why. He wakes to the grim reality of the branded number on his ankle which brands him as two-three-seven, a slave, "a little underground animal who did as he was told. Yet he itched. He shouldn’t have expected more, but he did". Rafen's dream leads him to the conclusion that "he didn't belong here", with here being Tarhia, the land in which he is enslaved and imprisoned. 

The phoenix feather dream has given Rafen a sense of identity that he has never had. He was not the only contestant for a feather. Two other men ran with him, and he instinctively knew they were kings. Rafen, not long after this, rejects his identity as a slave. It is this rejection that leads him on a journey of pain, sorrow, struggle, and eventually to form of freedom in which he is still pursued by his previous captors. Throughout this journey, his tormentors work hard to force his previous identity onto him.

“I know what you think,” Talmon said in Tongue. “You think that Etana will somehow escape the hundreds of men I have after her. You think that she will call her father, and though she is heir to the Sianian throne, she will plead for a dirty Tarhian slave boy. You think the king of Siana will travel the three months’ journey in the week before your execution and then bring his ship into enemy territory to find you. You think you are important. You are not.
“Now come here, two-three-seven!”


​“I have heard of two-three-seven,” the officer went on. “He was socializing with a princess yesterday. That probably made him decide he was above working in the mine.”

When Rafen arrives in Siana, the land of freedom that he has escaped to, he begins the difficult internal battle of figuring out who he actually is. Those around him tell him that because he bears a sacred name that his mother gave to him, he must worship the Phoenix God that it refers to. Rafen fears he will lose his identity through worship, by succumbing to another master. All this is the reason that the tagline of the book reads: "Your name will change your life forever". Rafen's name is a vital clue to his final identity.

Rafen resists the Sianian culture of worshipping the Phoenix, although he is still obsessed with the idea of receiving a phoenix feather. In the meantime, his enemies who had previously enslaved him because of the name he possessed have caught up with him. Roger, the old Tarhian general, throws Rafen out of his own chamber window late one night - but not before once again hoping to seal Rafen's identity forever in death.

"His Grace [Talmon] says you can never be free."

Then he releases Rafen's ankle and lets him to drop to his apparent death. Rafen is miraculously saved by catching onto a wide window ledge. The miracle itself leads him to cry out to Zion, the Phoenix, for help. Guided by a voice speaking to him, he flees the Sianian palace and heads into the neighbouring woods, where he at last is offered a feather by the Phoenix himself.

With an effort, Rafen pulled back. He wanted it, but he would die if he took it... he stared at the feather, tears in his eyes.

Rafen fears that if he accepts the feather, his identity will forever be defined as a hero ordained by the Sianian Phoenix, meaning he will always be hunted. At this point, he would rather die than have an identity. He would rather remain the ex-slave than someone truly freed by who he is.

The hesitation passes and he takes the feather. Just hours after receiving it, he returns to the Sianian palace, where his own enemies are actually attacking the king of Siana, seeking to kill him. 

Rafen decided he wouldn’t be afraid. He raised his hand to the feather above his heart. He was the Fledgling.

Upon confronting Roger again - his would-be murderer, Rafen isn't afraid to introduce himself as the Fledgling of the Phoenix, the very translation of his name. His identity frees him to battle his enemies with new courage and send them fleeing.

What was I trying to do with this theme? A couple of things.
1. I believe personally that bearing a false identity or definition of yourself will enslave you, until at last you know who you really are. A false identity not only enslaves you... it effaces your true self.
2. I believe it's impossible to know who you really are on an individual basis. We are defined in relation to someone. I believe we are defined in relation to our Creator. True identity frees us from fear and enables us to overcome our personal battles. Until we find it, we are destined to be wandering in circles, confused.

All of this is - I hope - tastefully done throughout the book, as I desired to avoid a preachy style of writing and yet deliver a powerful message. Only my readers can tell me how successful I have been.

The above question is one that I've had to think through recently. Someone told me in person that there should be "no other name" for God used in literature, as this constitutes idolatry. 

Here are my thoughts on representations of God in literature.

1. If you personally are not being asked to worship the literary representation of God, it is not wrong. If the author is not setting up a god in the process of writing, but rather depicting a different world run by different rules, I believe there is no reason to be alarmed. Another world run by different rules? Clearly this book is not a religious handbook and does not have such specific relevance in the lives of its readers.

2. Literary representations of God usually do not (and simply cannot) capture His entire character - therefore, don't expect them to. When Jesus told the parable of unjust judge, He was representing a god-like character to His listeners. However - as is often the case in story - all facets of God cannot be accurately captured. The Bible says that fullness of God is best seen in Jesus Christ (not in a story). The parable of the unjust judge showed two facets of God - His authority to judge and His absolute power to do so. His grace is shown in a parable like the prodigal son. These are simply two examples of how stories typically only capture particular facets of God's character.

3. Look at Jesus. Jesus told parable after parable about the kingdom of heaven and frequently in these parables, god-like characters had other names - "the father of the prodigal son", "the sower", "the unjust judge", and so on. Jesus was not saying that these characters were God. Neither was He asking his listeners to worship storied figures. He was representing different parts of God's character.

4. Does it honour God? This is the number one question for readers and writers alike to ask once they have established that it is not wrong to represent God in literature - for it is only right if it brings glory to His name. If it's defamatory, by all means, don't read it.

If a story can't capture the entire essence of God, why write allegories at all? What is the point in trying to depict something of your Christian beliefs in story? Is it really useful? Some would argue in the case of fantasy that it is not. But I believe the very strength of representing something of the God we know and worship in literature is the weakness I mentioned above. An author can't capture all there is to God. Therefore, an author must simplify, honing in on one or two concepts and thus rendering these easier to understand. 

And so, little by little, piece by piece, stories from a Christian perspective help us to know the Creator of the universe better.

Recently, I have once again faced some opposition for the type of literature I write. Each time I encounter this sort of thing - a reality of being a published author - it forces to me think through, once again, what I believe about the type of literature I write. I believe this is a good process, because growth is always important for a writer.

The letter of protest that was written to me raised issues with my books on a number of accounts, each of which I have thought carefully in turn before returning to - you guessed it - writing more fantasy for my next publishing contract. 

One issue I wanted to discuss today is the question of whether dark literature is appropriate for young adults. I have been asked before my reasons for writing such "gritty" literature. While my fantasy books are not scandalous or even (I believe) unnecessarily gory, adult readers occasionally debate whether it is wise to expose young readers to such dark material. By dark, I suppose they are referring to the fact that I show death numerous times, general child maltreatment (although even innocent Harry Potter has that - what relative puts bars on their nephew's window and barely feeds them?), supernatural powers of evil, general violence, and at times, plain old twisted human nature at its best - or rather worst. Are these things appropriate in literature for young adults?

I say young adults because I wish to stress that I don't write for "children" as such. Currently, I'm not writing middle grade literature for five through to twelve-year-olds. These books are for twelves and up. 

Next, I want to say no to my original question. No, and yes. I suppose a more accurate answer is "it depends". I tend to ask myself the "is-it-appropriate-question" with regards to the following criteria.

1. Is the perspective helpful? If I'm showing out of hand violence as a good thing - if I'm giving the reader no hope - if all I'm doing is creating confusion and not reason - I consider myself violating my own God-given image, made to reflect my Creator, who created reason out of chaos, meaning out of confusion. When I write darker content, I do it to bring meaning and reason out of the confusion of this life. I want to show young adults that life can be hard and still have purpose. You can lose it all and still have everything to gain. You can suffer tremendous pain, survive it, and thrive in God's timing and purpose.

2. Is it necessary to tell the story? And is this part of the story necessary to tell? Do I really need to show that particular death? Or can I mention it off screen or even just let the person live? If it serves no purpose in the plot and the ultimate good that I'm trying to work through the story, I discard that particular story beat. If it heavily influences the character and provides a good learning point through narrative, then it is worthwhile including it.

3. Is it age appropriate? With regards to this question, I tend to assume in young adult literature that young adults can handle most of what adults can with regards to the content of books. However, what they do need is guidance. Hence, worldview infused with hope and a modicum of wisdom is certainly important.

What are the benefits of "darker literature" for adolescents (when appropriate)? I think those who are exposed to tough questions early on will have a better idea of what they believe and how to cope with the obstacles life throws at them. Adults tend to look at young adults and believe their innocence needs to be preserved. What they don't realise is that, for many young adults, their innocence has been robbed from them by society, bullying, or some other source that the parent, guardian, or well-meaning adult has no idea about. Though tragic, this is increasingly the case. Even if the said young adult has been completely sheltered externally, they cannot be entirely protected from the ravages of early depression, anxiety, or some form of internal struggle. And if you wanted to shield them from everything, you'd have to ensure they live and move in a Wifi free zone. Because sin exists, many young adults have encountered the broken world around them not long after they hit adolescence. Now they need help dealing with it. Ignoring it and pretending the moment of the breaking of the bubble never happened will not solve anything.

Would you deny them the opportunity to confront and work through the tough issues?

What are your thoughts? 

A little while ago, I wrote an article about how the first editions of my four Fledgling Account books had gone out of print and I had successfully had my rights returned by my publisher, after they had notified me they wouldn't print more books. While I wrote that post with mixed feelings, it is already a moment of triumph to be able to say "first edition". The second editions are, in fact, imminent. I have just this past week signed a seven book international publishing contract that will result in the publication of the entire Fledgling Account series. Books one to four will be released with new covers and some revisions. Books five to seven will, for the first time ever, see the light of day. Additionally, four short stories attached to the series will also be published. I am excited to say that this time there will be opportunities to get the books printed in New Zealand as well - something Permuted Press was unwilling to allow. We'll go slow with this, seeing how many bookstores are still willing to carry Rafen after all this time.


This contract with Burnett Young Books, furnished for by Cyle Young of Hartline Literary Agency, breathes new life into this series and into later projects. Because of how attached I was to this series emotionally, I found myself thwarted in every attempt to "write something else". I needed to finish The Fledgling Account and do it well before I threw myself into other projects - of which I have a few planned.

I'm truly privileged to be able have these seven books underway. I had a goal of having their destiny assured before my twenty-fifth birthday in April next year. That goal has already been met, thanks to God's provisions. I look forward to providing updates and cover reveals via this blog. 

In the meantime, I return to the world of the Mio Pilamur for just a little bit longer as I finish what I began at ten years old.

​Naturally, all this makes me deliriously happy.

Today launches a new part of my writing career. In recent times, three of my four fantasy books went "out of print" in the traditional sense of the word. Book Depository notified me that there was just no more stock for them to sell. This led me to contact my publisher. Last year, Simon and Schuster - Permuted Press' big grandfather publishing company - did print runs of all of Permuted Press' paperback books. Permuted Press majors in ebook sales, but it was a move that S & S initiated, and therefore was irresistible. The print runs came out, and Permuted Press continued to push mainly their ebook sales - or at least, they did as far as I could see. I'm willing to be told otherwise. The thing is, I'm different - I'm from New Zealand, not America. And New Zealanders still love their paperbacks.

This meant that while my ebook sales plummeted, my print sales continued until finally I noticed three of my books were going out of stock everywhere. Servant of the King just became unavailable last week. To cut a long story short, Permuted Press - instead of doing a new print run - decided to release the rights of my books back to me. This means that today is probably the last day you can buy an ebook of any of my books for some time. Believe it or not, this was something that I've wanted for some time. Now that I am released from my contract, I can say that while there were many things about Permuted Press that made me happy (their connection with S & S, their international platform, their artwork, and the advances that they give) there was much that made me sad too. I list the positives because I don't want to become one of the many voices of their ex-authors who didn't have them dreams fulfilled by this company and decided to backlash. Let's be clear: very few authors get their dreams fulfilled by any company. It's the life of an author. Those who complain should remember they chose it and should live with it.

Some of the things that did disappoint me, however, were the following.

Editing - my editor ran up to three months late on my final two books with Permuted, meaning we had a frantic race to see which would come first: the publication date or the manuscript! In addition to this, she was overloaded, meaning the quality of her editing was not everything I hoped it would be.

Inflexibility - in taking on an author from New Zealand, Permuted - I believe - should have been prepared to show some flexibility in their marketing model. Allowing the books to be printed in Australia would have been a very wise move on their part, as I had Dymocks in Sydney, a number of Paper Pluses, and the Whitcoulls chain prepared to carry the books. But they couldn't because of the exchange rate and the cost of shipping.

Expectations and marketing - I was once told that Permuted might consider publishing the last three books of my series if I sold one hundred ebooks a day. For an unknown author, this is a tall order. I was told to keep working on social media, try guest blog posts, try Twitter, try Facebook... I've done all of this, ad infinitum. Additionally, I got plenty of recognition in my own country: I was in the New Zealand Herald, on the radio, and even was a finalist in the Sir Julius Vogel Awards. This simply didn't change the fact that Permuted was doing nothing on their end to promote a New Zealand author in an American market. I was a complete unknown. Imagine posting one tweet on Twitter and waiting for one hundred people to notice you. That's what the Amazon market is like. You place one book on it amid the multitude in the "feed" and watch it sink unless you keep the talk going about it. And Permuted didn't keep the talk going. They waited for a miracle, and when it didn't happen, they weren't happy. This did sadden me, but I do understand a publisher has to work for profit. I just think there must be smarter ways of getting that profit.

Pricing - even if Permuted hadn't allowed the books to be printed in Australia, we could have had more sales if they had been content to lower their ebook prices to something more marketable. My literary agent was amazed to find my books were twice the price of anyone else's. If I see an unknown fantasy author at six to seven dollars US and then I see another unknown at three dollars, I would be buying the three dollar book. This doesn't even take into account that well-known authors are selling at less. One simple move could have saved a lot of hassle and disappointment on both ends of my contractual agreement with Permuted. However, that would have meant changing what they were doing with a lot of authors. And they weren't prepared to do that. Again, understandable. Just sad for me.

I regret nothing, however. I have had an awesome publishing experience overall. I knew this contract wasn't going to be forever, and I know that's no comment on my writing. That's just the nature of things, and it was always going to be that way with Permuted.

My literary agent in Pennsylvania has been dreaming of the day we'll get the rights for the whole series, to try to sell The Fledgling Account to a publisher that might push this series a bit more. Now we have that chance. And it's one that I'm not going to let go of!

For those of you who are disappointed you won't be able to buy these books for the time being, take heart. For a start, you're probably in New Zealand. They're in the majority of New Zealand's main public libraries. I also have some spare copies to sell as well. So if you're keen, contact me through this website for your copy. 
 

It's probably about time I made it back to Writers' Sanctuary, after a rather long absence! My excuse is that I married and wedding preparations keep one busy enough. With the beginning of a new life in a different city, I have slowly been getting back into a schedule with editing and writing. It has been some time.

In the meantime, one thing that mildly discouraged me from working on my books further was a letter that I received in response to an interview I did in a Christian magazine. This letter accused me of producing occultic material for young adults. It additionally said that I was baffling them with false gods.

It's difficult to know how to respond to these things. I am genuinely trying to write something worth reading, something that will be both enjoyable and helpful to others, including Christians. However, sometimes there are those who interpret the books in a more negative light.

Nevertheless, I have thoroughly thought through why I write fantasy. I've read whole books on it to help me gain a better understanding of the genre (In Defence of Fantasy was a personal favourite). I suppose one of the important things to remember as an author is that belief is sometimes all we have. We might not have contracts coming out of ears. Most of us certainly don't have money coming out of ears. At the end of the day, we have to truly believe in what we are writing. It has to mean something to us, and we must have a purpose for it beyond ourselves that enables to keep going, even when times (or criticisms) get tough.

That is my thought for the day as I continue to edit Wielder of the Rod, my seventh and final Fledgling Account book. Belief is crucial for all our writing endeavours.

“They mean to destroy you," Rafen whispered.
The Phoenix reared his head, and the ringing cry of laughter assailed the roof of the Miowa ki na Feni. “Do you really think so little of me, Rafen, that this scares you?” He lowered his head until the blood red neck was on a level with where Rafen hovered, a mere mist on the air, a mere breath of his god. “How little you know me. I have the power to take you on an odyssey of a lifetime, of an era – to show you more of myself. It will be the most glorious and empowering journey you have ever taken. You have made fires for me in the North and South and East and West. You have travelled far and done great things. You have settled the hearts of men and saved many from death with the other Eleven. Yet this journey, this task will surpass them all. Do you wish to truly know me? To truly know your God?”
Uncertain, Rafen shifted, his whole being stirred with intolerable longing. Could it be that after these thousands of years, he had not known the Phoenix at all? Could it be that he did not understand every facet of his Lord’s power? And what would their communion be like when he did?
“Yes,” he answered, because he had never felt anything as deep as this, any longing as strong as this before.
“You wish to know me truly,” the Phoenix said softly. The words filled his spirit, thrilling him. “And if you wish to know all that I have given you and all that I am, then I must save you. Only in salvation can a child know the full power of the One he trusts. In salvation, I will show you my glory.”
“Save me then,” Rafen implored, quivering with delight. “Save me now.”
“Watch carefully, Rafen. And listen to all I say. Your journey begins.”

It has now been an entire year since my first four books were published. Book four released on November 17, 2015. It's a year that has been filled with teaching and other busyness. It's also been a year in which I have finished writing my seven book series, The Fledgling Account. My literary agent is now attempting to sell the last three books to publishers.

I have gone from the position of not knowing how the entire series ends to being able to look at every single character in book one and say that I know exactly what happens to them. Finishing this seven book series, which has been a burden on my mind for years, was a crazy feeling - a feeling of emotional release and strange finality. 

Of course, I know nothing's final with writing until the last edit has been done, so I understand I will be revisiting these books. But I also know that the journey I began in childhood is now over. I have finished following Rafen through his wild antics. 

I called the series The Fledgling Account for a number of reasons. I wanted to be clear that this was my first series - a "fledgling" attempt, so to speak. I wanted also to incorporate the meaning of Rafen's name. The word "account" has been controversial among my readers, some of whom still think the rather more hackneyed "chronicles" is better. But I preferred something with no thrills - something very plain and simple: account. No sense embellishing it. That's my personality, really. I don't see any point in useless embellishments or thrills. 

I now look forward (with dubious pleasure) to editing the final three books in this series and one day securing a publisher, through the help of my trusty literary agent. In the meantime, I plan to always write, even on the dry days. Time has proven that it's a necessary pastime for me.
May reading and writing prove as fruitful for you!

I have had the privilege of a signing a new literary agency contract and am now officially a client of Hartline Literary Agency. This means that I now have a new opportunity to attempt to get my last three books in The Fledgling Account series published. And after that - some adult books.

For those of you who stumble across this site and are wondering what a literary agent is and does, let me offer a brief explanation.

1. A literary agent attempts to sell your work to a legitimate publisher, at no cost to you.
2. A literary agent help negotiate contract and deals that you may receive.
3. A literary agent helps manage your rights, representing not just you English language rights, but also your foreign language rights, and your film rights.
4. A literary agent is awesome. 

Submissions may be difficult to put together, but it is all worth it in the end.